Huffington Post has an article suggesting ways that the Bible can help with New Year's resolutions. And I think that's a wonderful idea. So wonderful, in fact, that I thought I'd try to help them out with that. Here is a list of ways to apply the Bible to your daily life in 2013.
Get drunk and lay around naked. Then if your kids see you, curse their children (your unborn grandchildren).
Noah ... drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent ... And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father ... Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him. And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren. Genesis 9:20-25
Offer your virgin daughters to a sex-crazed mob of angel rapers.
I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes. Genesis 19:8
And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire. Leviticus 21:9